A "Weighty" Issue

Okay, so last summer I started Diet Center. Basically, I watched how many starches I ate, ate lots of veggies and fruit, and was sure to exercise. By Christmas, I had lost 60lbs. Yay me! Since Christmas, however, I have gained about 20lbs back. Scary! Yesterday, I started back. I walked my 2 miles and did good on the diet. It is just always going to be something that I deal with. The main thing to me is I want to be a good example for my kids. I want to teach them that you have to exercise to stay healthy.

I guess I have always been "fat." I just didn't know it until the fifth grade. My mama and daddy had done a pretty good job at keeping that little secret from me. They always made me feel beautiful even at a young age. I can still remember the exact day that I found out that I wasn't like all the other "little" girls. We were playing kick ball in the gym, and it was my turn to kick. This was a bad enough day already. I hated kick ball! When you never make it to first base, it really isn't all that fun. Anyway, the pitcher on the other team didn't know who to pitch the ball to, and a kid said, "Throw it to her. The one with the pot belly." Ouch! I looked around to see if anybody else had heard. They did. Oh dear Lord get me out of here. Which he did. I was out by first base and was able to go back to the back of the line and sorta blend in. Now, I have no ill feelings toward the little boy that told me I was "fat" because he was just a kid too. He didn't know the damage he would be doing. The funny thing is that I never talked to anybody about it. I didn't want anybody to feel sorry for me. (I still don't, so it is kind of hard to share now.) I don't know why I didn't tell my mama though. She would have made it better.

Another time that I was reminded of my imperfection was when an older boy made fun of me from the back of the bus. He was a year or two older than my sister, so I didn't know why he was picking on me. That was maybe the worse. When I got off the bus at the church, my mama wasn't there to pick me up, so I quickly started walking home through the alleys so that nobody would see me. To my surprise, when I got to the corner of the street, there was that boy's mama in a truck with the boy. She was offering a ride. I said, "No, that's okay. I'm almost home, and I don't really mind the walk." She said that she insisted and to hop in. It was a single cab truck, so I had to sit next to the boy. Secretly, I thought it was kind of funny because the kid was a nervous wreck that I was going to tell on him. I also was thinking, "See you scum bag. Even though you are 5 to 6 years older than me. I am more mature than you will ever be. I'm not going to tell on you. I'm not going to get you in trouble because I don't really care what you think of me." That is what I told myself anyway.

There are other little moments or flashes of being picked on as a child that I remember. There was one time after I had lost a bunch of weight, was a cheerleader, and once again thought that I was finally like all the other pretty girls, when a girl said about me, "Of course Elizabeth is eating pizza. She is always eating." I only know this was said because I was standing behind the group of girls and heard my name. I heard the laughter and noticed that my best friend wasn't laughing. This told me something was going on, I was the target, and it wasn't nice. I made my buddy tell me later what was said. She really didn't want to tell me, but she did. She was so sweet about it to. She said, "Elizabeth, so and so was just being mean because she is jealous of you because you are one of the sweetest funniest people in our class, and she is not." I'll never forget that feeling of knowing that my best friend felt that way about me. It made me not really care what the old meanie had said.

The only reason I'm sharing this is to say, that this is something I have always dealt with that I feel like I'm finally figuring out. Most overweight people have major issues. I do not. It is just something that has always been.  My sister and I were talking about why we can't just accept ourselves for who we are. (She is a bean pole by the way, and is currently running so she can be in shape. I'm so proud of her commitment to it.) These are my goals: get healthy, teach my kids healthy habits, accept myself the way I am. (Which shouldn't be hard when you are as smoking hot as I truly am!!!) 

Elizabeth Lee

I am fearfully and wonderfully made (even with no make-up)  because Christ made me.