This time of year can be such a crazy time! I'm always so excited about Christmas morning (probably more than my children) but getting there just about kills me. This year Lee Cooper wants a drum set. (He has actually wanted one for two years now, but so far Santa has come up with better ideas. This year I'm afraid Santa has been dumb.) If he happens to get a drum set for Christmas, seeing the smile on his face will make all the bangs and clangs worth it for this pregnant mommy.(hopefully!) I've been thinking about Christmas, and how wrapped up I get in the giving of Christmas, the traditions of Christmas, and making sure we get to as many family gatherings as we can with great big happy smiles on all of our faces. All of this stress and worry causes me to be reminded of the true meaning of Christmas. (Look, I know you just rolled your eyes and you think you know where this is going before I've even finished, but just hear me out.) I know that is a slightly cliché thing to say, but for me it is real. As real as it gets. I'm told that as long as I have faith the size of a mustard seed, I can move mountains. This is one of my favorite verses of the Bible, and one I repeat often to myself because I'm a somewhat analytical person. (I guess I get that from my daddy.) On some days I have the faith that if I leaped off the mountain, I would soar on eagles wings, and then there are days when I have faith the size of a grain of sand. This is probably because I tend to be a worrier. I worry about our finances, and if Zach and I will ever be able to meet our financial goals. I worry about my children becoming productive members of society. I worry about my husband's health and that I will hopefully never face a day without the security of him by my side. Saying that I like logics and saying I'm a Christian is very contradictory. Let's face it, logic tells us not to believe in a virgin birth, or that the child of this virgin would grow up to preach and teach. That He would heal the blind and make the lame walk or turn water into wine. Logics say there is no way an innocent man would go pray in a garden and wait for people to come and arrest Him w/ no guilt of any crime, to stand trial with no defense, to watch His closest friends turn their backs on Him. That the spotless lamb would hang on a tree when he had the power to call 10,000 angels to rescue Him, to die for me and the many generations that came before me and after me, that He would be seen again on earth for some days only to ascend into heaven. That it is His desire to take me there with Him one day. None of these things seem logical. None of them make sense, but for me they are as real as my husbands love for me, my love for my children, or my childhood memories. Even on my weakest day, where my faith wavers on so many levels, these truths are still apart of me. Even when I hold my hands up and ask why, I know that someone is there listening to my agony and loving me in spite of it. My Jesus. My Savior. One day, I'll spend His birthday with Him. I'll dance and sing for Him. I won't have to feel so weak, but until those days let me thank Him for being that beautiful gift of a Savior! Let me thank Him for his love for me, and for the many gifts I have in this life.
Matthew 17:20
He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."
Luke 2:9-14
And behold an angel of the Lord stood before them and the glory of the Lord shone around them and they were greatly afraid. Then the angel said to them. "Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be the sign to you: you will find a babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger." And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying:
"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill toward men!"
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