Now lets get to the feelings that completely contradict all of the nice things that I just said. I'm slightly overwhelmed, a little nervous, and very doubtful of how I will handle another precious child while balancing the needs of my other children and of course the man of the house. I have decided to make a little list of all of the feelings I have been having lately. Again, I want to warn you this is not a positive list......(Wow. This sounds so depressing! Lighten it up, Elizabeth!)
1. Although Zach tells me not to be embarrassed because he is a "grown man," and we have nothing to be embarrassed about, I can't help but feel a little (scratch that) ALOT embarrassed.
2. Yes, we know what causes it. (Hahahahaha......did you come up with that one on your on because it is soooooooo funny!)
3. No this is not a religious thing. We will not have a tv show on TLC called The Coopers where I talk about God deciding how many children we will have. (In fact, I can tell you this will be the last one from this set of Coopers. I know you are wondering, so there I said it.)
4. I will never ever get caught up on laundry. I will be doing tons of laundry everyday until this child turns at least 18.
5. I don't think I'm a supermom. Instead, I think I have been forced to let some things go that some of you wonderful awesome moms out there would never ever do. I have learned to pick and choose what to stress out about and when to say....ohhhh well, that kid can be bathed tomorrow. However, you will never know how encouraging it is to be called a supermom. It makes me feel like I'm one of those people that have it all together, and let's face it I have NEVER been one of those people.
6. Last night I couldn't get to sleep because I was so far behind on housework. I almost got up at 3:30 to do laundry, but the fear of waking up the husband that has to work and the kids that NEED SLEEP caused me just to go to the couch and sulk. (I also prayed a little and made a list about what I needed to do today, which helped my feelings too.)
7. I really hate our bank account. It needs to grow exponentially!
8. Have I mentioned we don't know where we are going to live next year? I mean we don't even know what state we will be in. Sometimes this excites me about the future and then sometimes this makes me want to go straight home to Eudora and spend as much time with ole Sally and Steve as I can.
9. I really shouldn't have given all my maternity clothes to Goodwill. What was I thinking????
10. Man, I feel huge and sick and tired and sick and tired and HUGE!
11. YES it is just one! (Although deep down I still worry about one hiding around in there somewhere but I have been assured that it is just one little flashing heartbeat.)
I will say that this morning as I was rushing out of the house and into the van to get Lee to school (which he looked so handsome and like he must have a mom that has it all together but we won't talk about how the twins were dressed.) I looked down at a little picture that was on the speedometer and saw this little picture. It reminded me that there is another little baby in there that I will love as much as the three babies I already love so much and that really nothing else matters. Thank you Lord for the life I have and the blessings you have given us!
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| Yes. Of course that is me behind that picture with a towel wrapped around my head. |
"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them."
Psalm 139:13-16
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